I can want something and not buy it.

Why I'm doing a no-spend during my favorite shopping season.

I’m the kind of friend who is always looking to join in.

You’re learning pickleball? I want to learn, too! (No really, I haven’t learned yet. Who wants to teach me?)

You want to get a tattoo? I’m there! (To hold your hand, that is. I just gave my mom a heart attack.)

So when my best friend casually mentioned the idea of not buying any new clothes from August through December, I not only said, “I’m in,” but I upped the ante: no clothes, no shoes, no accessories.

For five months.

It helps that I have experience in no-spend months. This time is different, though. It’s FALL. The best shopping season. Plaids! Flannels! Sneakers! Boots! SWEATERS! And any day now I’m going to start Christmas shopping, which means I’ll inevitably come across things I want, which any other year I would buy and assure myself, “It’s for my birthday.”

Not this year!

I joke that it’s hard, but it really hasn’t been (yet). I continue to wear the same gold hoops nearly every day, the same gold rings on my fingers. I’ve enjoyed pulling out my fall clothes (hello, beloved overalls!), and my burgundy shoulder bag from Madewell and suede Abera bag from Able—two truly great purses. I am psyched to wear my dark green Converses and suede Chelsea boots. I can think of many things I want— jeans that aren’t cropped, a white Oxford shirt, loafers—but I can’t think of anything I actually NEED. If a need does come up, I can borrow from a friend. That’s the whole point of this no-spend for me—to continue reminding myself that I have what I need.

I can like something and not buy it.

I can want something and not buy it.

Things that are helping: being completely off Instagram, immediately deleting promotional emails, and keeping a note on my phone labeled “to buy” to keep track of anything I come across that I absolutely love and might want to put on my birthday/Christmas list. (So far, the only thing is an absurdly expensive watch, and I laugh at myself a little bit every time I see the link.) Also, allowing myself to buy other things has helped me to feel like I’m not completely depriving myself. Yes to adorning our front stoop with bright purple mums. Yes to a sticker from a cute coffee shop. Yes to McDonald’s hot fudge sundaes. Yes to buying my daughter her first pair of wide-leg jeans and a sweater we both instantly fell in love with.

I still occasionally click on links from Cup of Jo because I’m human, but I don’t hit “add to cart.” I’m a recovering “add to cart” addict. I used to feel a sense of satisfaction from closing out the Gap/Madewell/Nordstrom/Amazon tabs before buying the many items sitting in an online shopping cart. Now, I feel a sense of satisfaction from looking at something, admiring it (or not), and clicking away.

Another thing that’s helping? These inspiring (and validating!) posts:

“Try to keep your blinders on when something new or just a bit different comes on the market, and remember the importance of reiterating what makes you feel like you.” - Erika Veurink: Buying Clothes Won’t Make You Fashionable

“What I hadn’t anticipated (beyond saving money and shopping less) was how creative I’d become with what I do have. I genuinely look at things differently when it comes to my personal style and getting dressed. I can hand on heart say, it is infinitely more fun now than when I could buy anything I wanted.” - Harriet Hadfield: Creative constraints Vs hard styling rules

“I can admire how great it looks on them, appreciate their whole vibe, and then—let it go. I don’t need to add it to my cart in some attempt to capture their coolness. My version of style is going to look different. And that’s okay.” - Xue: Admire It, Don’t Buy It

“It’s amazing how not being persuaded to constantly buy more stuff results in … not buying so much stuff. What I’m going for instead: more inspiration from books, long-form content, travel, classes, and nature. November, with its crisp air and fall leaves and spectacular sunsets is probably my new favorite month, and I want to lean into that kind of delight.” - my de-cluttering accountability partner, Ruth Gyllenhammer: Minimalism as a Practice

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I’m curious:

What was the last thing you were influenced to buy that you regretted buying?

Do you own any clothing, shoes, or accessories that people recognize as you? If the answer is no, what would you like to be your signature item?

What popular item(s) are missing from your closet? (For me: ballet flats. My cute young coworker rocks wide-leg acid-wash jeans with chic black ballet flats and it’s not fair. My ankles can’t handle those blisties. If you ever feel tempted to buy ballet flats, read this McSweeney’s piece first.)