Reading Deprivation

Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like

I’m ditching Mailchimp and joining my friends over here on Substack. HI, FRIENDS! *Waves like a crazy person.*

You’ll never guess what thought went through my head last Thursday night after I turned off the light and slipped a sleep mask over my eyes.

I should do a reading deprivation.

“Reading deprivation” is a task outlined in The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I am about to go through the book for the *fifth* time, and I don’t believe I’ve ever fully committed to a week-long reading deprivation. It is really hard for someone who receives pleasure and a sense of rest from reading to just…give it up.

I would never in a million years think about ditching reading.

Except, last Thursday night, I didn’t just think about it…I sat up in bed, turned the light back on, and started jotting down ideas for what I could do if I stopped reading:

Do my paint-by-number kits

Make a collage

Take walks

Play games

Paint my nails

Organize the linen closet

Hang art in the dining room

Make friendship bracelets 

Play the piano

Oh, and WRITE, of course.

(That’s the big one. I haven’t been writing much.)

“For most blocked creatives, reading is an addiction. We gobble the words of others rather than digest our own thoughts and feelings, rather than cook up something of our own.”

- Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

The next morning, I finished the novel that, along with all of the things that come with adulting/mothering/working, had consumed my brain space all week. I closed the book, took a deep breath, and said goodbye to reading for a week. No books, newsletters, blog posts, news stories…

I’m also not listening to podcasts or audiobooks or checking in on the Exhale Facebook page. I’m already off Instagram.

Here’s how it’s going:

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Day 1

Last night I felt a sudden urge to do a reading deprivation. It’s silly how excited and terrified I feel. It’s snowing, and Andy’s leaving for Vegas in the morning, and I have a new book from the library. Why am I doing this to myself? But I weirdly crave a break. I need to step away from novels and Substack posts…

..and sit with my thoughts and brave the page. I’ve barely even journaled all week. Wait, have I even journaled at all?

I’m nervous I’m going to cave.

I don’t know that I really want to do this? But I will, because I’m going to write.

Later…

Chloe’s home from school. We went sledding in Maureen’s mom’s backyard, and then Maureen took Chloe to her house to play. I cleaned three bathrooms and other various parts of the house while listening to Three.Two.One. by Lennon Stella two times through and all of Pure Heroine by Lorde. I wrote a poem about the bird feeder. Then I picked up Chloe, and we went sledding together at Flook Park before coming home and sledding in the yard with Andy. I’m wiped out. Reading would be nice…

I’ve decided one thing I’ll do during this time of not reading is embrace my love of sitting and staring/noticing…I laid on my back in the snow earlier and watched the snow fall and caught snowflakes on my tongue. And I made snow angels.

Day 2

a recap of day 2 written on day 3

I woke up and immediately felt grumpy about being unable to read. I wanted nothing more than to ease into the day with my coffee and a book. It took me a minute to think of a low-energy task I could do on the couch. I decided to cut up magazines to make a collage. It was really hard not to get sucked into reading while cutting things out! I obviously had to read a little bit to know what headlines I wanted to use for the collage, but I avoided reading any articles or captions.

Andy requested a big breakfast before heading to the airport. That was the start of my go-go-going… then it was time to clean up the kitchen, take a shower, get ready for my parents to arrive, go to Pastor Mike’s funeral and luncheon, come home and be with mom and dad, make dinner, get ready for having friends over, put Chloe to bed, and be with my friends.

I felt bummed that I didn’t do anything creative other than cut up magazines. I wanted to read at bedtime because they left at midnight and my brain craved a “wind-down” time, but I just turned off the light instead.

Day 3

I sent Chloe over to Janet’s after church for her piano lesson and to play a little bit. I spent a lot of time finishing reading Chapter 3 of Walking in This World (reading Julia Cameron is allowed) and doing the weekly tasks. I took a nice (COLD!) walk, assembled my collage, and attempted playing I Dreamed a Dream on the keyboard. I’ve gotten so rusty.

Chloe and I played Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza when she got home and went back to Flook Park for more sledding. Later we snuggled on the couch and watched The Parent Trap together.

I did do SOME reading today. I offered to take a look at a project a friend is working on. I limited myself to maybe 20 minutes or so.

Oh hey, now I’m writing in real time! I’m about to watch 30 minutes of Brooklyn before going to bed.

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Well, I did it. I wrote my first Substack post. Now I just have to hit send.

Thanks for reading! 😜