Trip Talk No. 5: Amber Takes a Toddler to Ireland
Q. Did the thing you were nervous about happen? A. Yes, I think all of it happened.
I met Amber as a sophomore in college during my internship at the local newspaper. Even though she was only two years older than me, Amber was a REAL GROWN-UP who had graduated and had a full-time job. She was everything I aspired to be—smart, funny, fashionable, and getting paid to write. We’ve stayed in touch all these years, and I’m thrilled for you all to experience her personality through this post.
About Amber: Amber Kennedy is a recovering journalist working in fast-paced public relations by day and fast-paced toddler parenthood on nights and weekends. She loves reading, antiquing, planning imaginary trips and shopping for imaginary real estate.
LOGISTICS:
Where did you go, and how long were you there? Ireland - 10 days, including travel.
Was this your first time traveling to this destination? We took an incredibly similar trip in 2012 with my in-laws.
Who did you go with? For the bulk of the trip, I was with my husband, toddler son and my dad. For the second week, we shared a home with our extended family, who were all visiting Dingle for a wedding.
How do you approach travel spending? Since this was for a destination wedding, we didn’t necessarily get to plan intentionally for a long time. We pulled a bit from savings, the reimbursement that came from our Dependent Care FSA, credit card rewards and pooling resources for a vacation rental and car rental.
PRE-TRIP
Were you the one solely responsible for planning the trip, or did you share the responsibility with someone? I have been the vacation planner in my family since fourth grade. This is partially because I genuinely love the research, and I also create run-of-show documents and phased plans in my day job, so it’s second nature for me.
For this trip, I started searching early for vacation rentals in Dingle, where our family wedding would happen, and shared those with the group. Once that was settled, I started mapping out a journey across Ireland, from Dublin to Belfast to Galway to Dingle. I toyed with train travel for as much as possible, but in the end, renting a car just made more sense. I created a shared itinerary that I sent by email to my husband and father to determine what we wanted to see and do. Ultimately, they usually deferred to me, but I tried to make choices based around what I thought my dad would like because he’d always wanted to go to Ireland.
What was the most enjoyable part about planning, and what was the least enjoyable part? I really love to virtually jump into Google Maps street view and walk around the neighborhoods I’m considering. I’ll “walk” a few blocks in each direction and start to get excited about doing it in real life.
Booking air travel for four of us, including a toddler, was stressful. I wanted to sit together, but also can’t stand how many fees they charge to select that many seats. I also wasn’t totally sure if my dad could come, so I sprung for everything to be refundable and while prudent, it still felt unnecessarily expensive.
What were you most nervous about? Every single aspect of traveling with our toddler son. Before this trip, we had never driven further than four hours. He’s still working on potty training and hasn’t moved to a big bed yet. I was stressed about sleep on a time difference, the flights, how he would eat, if he’d be willing to use the stroller, if he’d have blowouts, if he would behave in the wedding and so on.
ON THE TRIP
How did you get to your destination? Do you have travel anxiety? Did everything go smoothly? We flew from Washington D.C. to Dublin on a direct overnight flight, which was a great choice. I was VERY ANXIOUS about every aspect of moving through the airport with my toddler and my dad, who has very rarely flown. I actually read blogs and watched TikToks about how to get through the airport with a carseat, a stroller, luggage and a toddler. It helped me make some choices that paid off — we decided to use the carseat on the flight, and I bought a carrier with backpack straps to wear through the airport. It worked like a dream, and our son slept most of the flight!
What was your first impression of Ireland? We stayed in The Davenport in Dublin, and arrived just in time for breakfast. It is a stately, beautiful hotel located a short block’s walk from the Giant’s Garden playground at Merrion Square. It’s a beautiful Georgian neighborhood that’s a little quieter than staying near the more touristy areas by Grafton Street, but still walkable to lots of attractions and food.
Using the five senses, how would you describe your vacation?
Sight: Ireland has a beautiful, tight color palette punctuated with bright colors, likely to beat the gloomy weather. Everything is green and gray and oatmeal. Throughout the countryside, you’ll see green hills, gray rock walls, white sheep and sharp yellow furze, a flowering plant that grows everywhere. In Dublin, the doors are technicolor and rain gear is boisterous.
Sound: Ireland sounds like good craic, the Irish word for a good time. The lilting brogue is so melodic and eavesdropping is a delight. Walking down the street of any city or even small village, you’ll hear the laughter and music spilling out of the pubs.
Taste: The Irish do a few dishes very well — meat pies, lamb, seafood, curries, grass-fed burgers and cheese. They also, forgive me, do some things astoundingly badly. Their fries are often thick-cut and mushy. Their pizza is…not pizza. It’s not exactly a culinary destination for me.
Smell: Yeasty beer, Irish cheddar Tayto chips, saltwater, and pasture.
Touch: For me, touch in Ireland feels like petting soft sheep ready to be shorn, tracing the cable knit sweaters, rubbing nubby tweed, smoothing cold river stones in my hand and wiping perspiration from a sweating pint of Smithwick’s ale.
Tell us about a challenging moment. How did you handle it? On our third night of travel, we moved to the very hip room2 hometel in Belfast where I foolishly had thought it would be fun to get a room with a lofted bed, separated by curtains. It looked like something out of “The Life Aquatic.”
But friends, my child is only 2! He wasn’t ready for that, even a little bit. And he was devastated. We tried to let him sleep in the loft and he took too many risks trying to climb down, so we had to move him to a pack and play. He probably wailed and screamed at bedtime for two hours. Eventually, I think I read him three more books and sang songs for 30 minutes until he finally rested at almost 10:30 p.m. It was brutal but in hindsight, it was the worst experience we had and now we’ve survived it.
Did you have any conflict with your travel companions? How did you handle it? Of course! I have a fatal flaw as the planner; I get miffed if people haven’t read the itinerary and double miffed if I left room for spontaneity and people assume I’ve planned something. It’s not reasonable or rational, but it’s how I feel! So, some of the big conflicts came from the moments when expectations were misaligned. My dad, who is retired, initially struggled to adapt to a toddler sightseeing schedule — we had to have breakfast and be out the door by 9 a.m. if we’d have any hope of a nap. My husband was annoyed I hadn’t planned lunch for one leg of the journey and didn’t like the random restaurant I found with a quick Google, which made me very defensive. In the future, I think it would help to find out what everyone’s expectations are for how we’ll spend the days. I also think a big fight is a travel tradition that’s almost unavoidable considering how much effort, money and energy goes into planning.
Was there a time on the trip that you felt fully relaxed? I felt completely serene and awed by nature when we went to Giant’s Causeway, a natural wonder of basalt columns located in Northern Ireland. It’s breathtaking in its geometry and its moody colors. It feels humbling and spectacular and touched by something bigger than all of us. The columns are surprisingly easy to climb and you feel like a kid clambering up and down over the rocks. I could have watched the waves crash over the coal-black octagonal stones all day.
What surprised you? Honestly, I went into this trip with my expectations on the basement floor. It would not have been my choice to travel internationally at this age with my toddler, but I came away feeling not only more confident, but excited at the idea of taking him around the world if we’re able. Now I know it can be both things: not exactly fun and also completely worth it.
What did you miss about home? Routine! Separate bedrooms for us and our child! Easy access to familiar snacks!
Were you happy with how you packed? Is there anything you wish you had packed and didn’t, or anything you wish you hadn’t bothered to pack? This was the first time I packed a mix of staples I own and some rented “special” items from Nuuly and left room with the assumption I’d end up buying a sweater. I packed for rain and ironically it rained only once.
Packing for a 10-day international trip that included a wedding was a unique challenge, and I ended up bringing a pair of lug sole Chelsea boots I only wore twice. I didn’t really need those boots, and I brought one simple black midi dress I didn’t wear. C’est la vie.
Did the thing you were nervous about happen? Yes, I think all of it happened. My son struggled to adjust fully to the time change. We finished the trip with the blowout of the century, which led to us allowing every single person to leave the plane before us so that we could clean the carseat, change his entire outfit and use every single wipe we had while he balanced precariously on the airplane toilet seat. When I was finished, sweaty and near tears, the flight attendant whispered, “You did great, mama” and I felt so seen in that moment.
Do you have any activities/restaurants you’d recommend? For those traveling with young kids, I highly recommend seeking out playgrounds in beautiful parks, especially if you’ve traveled overnight and need to adjust your body to the time change. European playgrounds are a refreshing change of pace from the staticky plastic ones we usually visit. In Dublin, I always recommend visiting the breathtaking Long Room at the Trinity Library, which looks like heaven to me. The National Gallery has some artists we don’t see as often in the States, including Caravaggio and Vermeer. I think many visitors skip Northern Ireland, but some of the best natural views are there and I’d take Giant’s Causeway over the Cliffs of Moher any day (sorry not sorry).
A highlight for the grown-ups was a Black Cab tour about the Troubles in Belfast, given by a local who experienced all of it firsthand. Once you’re outside the cities, just about any scenic drive will be breathtaking. If I were to recommend one destination in Ireland that feels like you’ve stepped into a movie, it would be County Kerry. The otherworldly natural beauty, combined with the walkable and tourist-friendly village of Dingle, will satisfy all those desires. It’s right on the coast, so you can take boat rides or walk on a strand of beach; we took the littles to the beach at Slea Head and it was dreamy.
My favorite meal of the entire trip was seafood takeout from Fishbox in Dingle — I’m still dreaming about the sun-dried tomato arancini.
What do you think you’ll remember most about the trip 20-30 years from now? My dad always had a hard time stepping away from work, and this was the most time we’d spent together since I left for college. He was giddy for the entire trip. It was so rewarding to have this experience with him; he never stopped taking pictures, gasping in awe, weeping in pubs or yapping with Uber drivers. I am so happy we had this experience together, and he had this time with his grandson, too.
POST-TRIP
What was the hardest thing for you to face when you got home? As soon as we arrived home, it was Easter! I had thankfully remembered to buy some candy, plastic eggs and treats before we traveled. Even so, I nearly forgot and was scrambling to put a basket together that morning. I also had to wade back into work the next day, and it was an extraordinarily busy time.
Do you have any routines in place for easing back into “normal life”? I would love to be one of those people who cleans the whole house before I leave and comes home to a restful environment, but it’s never worked out that way. Something to aspire to! I usually unpack and get laundry loads started as soon as possible. Always plan to just order a simple meal. If I’m going back to work the next day, I’ll start deleting all the emails I can to make that transition just a little bit easier.
Did you bring home any souvenirs? I love bringing home treasures from my trips, but over the years I’ve become very discerning. These days, I’m looking for items that feel heirloom-worthy, handmade or antique. It’s no fun to haul something back from a great distance and then see it available to buy at TJ Maxx! For this trip, I managed to squeeze a woven throw from Avoca into my suitcase, along with a mohair sweater (also from Avoca), a knit hat by Aran Crafts for my son, a handmade toy lamb, a print of Giant’s Causeway, fun socks printed with an Irish phrase and a beautiful ceramic dish by Louis Mulcahy. My husband had big doubts I could get that home in my tote and I relished proving him wrong.
And finally… what did you learn about yourself through this trip? I’m a planner at heart, and I tend to get anxious before travel. It doesn’t matter how many times I fly, I still am convinced I don’t know how to do any of it. Add traveling with a toddler and a first-time international traveler, and I was extremely on edge. And you know what? It mostly went according to plan! I came away feeling far less intimidated at the idea of traveling with my child. I felt like I went from zero to hero, and as a parent, that’s so empowering. We can do hard things, and they can even be fun!
Thank you, Amber! Your descriptions of Ireland using the five senses took me right back to when I studied abroad there. Revisiting Ireland is a top travel priority for me! Also, I really want to shop at the Avoca in Dublin again.
Let’s discuss: Have you been to any of the places mentioned in this post? Have you ever traveled abroad with a toddler and/or your parents? How did it go? Could you relate to the conflicts Amber faced? Did your heart melt over the flight attendant’s encouraging words? How obsessed are we with Amber’s souvenirs? Is everyone using Nuuly but me?
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This was so fun to read! Amber, you handled that blowout so well (and bless that flight attendant). I really want to go to Northern Ireland now!
And Laura, I have never used Nuuly, but I feel like I read about it every time I open Substack!
I can totally see why you aspired to be like Amber in college. Amber-you’re so cool! I’ve never been outside of Dublin and now I’m VERY interested in a bigger trip to Ireland!