The Best Part of My No-Spend

and what is threatening to ruin it

When I decided to do a personal no-spend challenge starting on August 1st, my “why” was simple—I have what I need. This simple truth was enough to keep me from shopping in those early days of my challenge, and the longer I went without spending, the easier it became.

Then life got complicated. Starting in late September, I took on a seasonal part-time job on top of my regular job. Chloe came down with strep, followed by an ear infection, and I battled whooping cough for five weeks. Between constant doctor’s visits, waiting in line at the pharmacy, canceling plans, pulling together details for a party I was hosting (while praying I wouldn’t cough through it), sleeping very little, and bursting into tears at inopportune times, I was barely holding it together. All while working, parenting, and coughing so violently it felt like my chest might snap in two.

To say I had a lot on my mind would be a massive understatement. But one thing wasn’t on my mind: new clothes.

I didn’t fully realize the significance of this until mid-November when my friend Ruth texted to ask how my no-spend challenge was going. That’s when it hit me: despite the exhaustive list of things consuming my thoughts, shopping wasn’t one of them.

“It’s going great,” I replied. “It feels good to have one less thing to occupy space in my brain.”

I went to sleep mulling over this sudden awareness and thought about it in the shower the next day. Exactly three weeks earlier I received a sweet email from my mom requesting Christmas lists from me and my siblings. Normally, I’d be thrilled by this task and able to compile a list within a couple of hours. But this year? I could think of only one thing I wanted.¹

I wrote to Ruth the next day. “I’m having a hard time thinking about what I want for my birthday or Christmas. My brain doesn’t even want to go there—I fear once I open the door to the endless possibilities of *stuff,* the gloriously empty space in my brain will become packed with questions like, ‘Should I get the Madewell jeans or go with Levi’s? Should I get that purse in brown or black?’ etc.”

In a hilarious twist of fate, Joanna Goddard² posted her first guide guide a few hours after I texted Ruth. As Caroline Donofrio so perfectly put it, “in marched the gift guides. I picture them entering to The Nutcracker Suite, pirouetting into my inbox and across my targeted ads, leaping about my psyche.”

Lord help me, I love gift guides. I love reading them, and I love making them. But their arrival—along with emails promising incredible discounts and texts from family and friends asking for gift ideas—felt less like dainty ballerinas leaping about my psyche and more like battering rams pounding against the metaphorical door I had just described to Ruth.

I briefly entertained the thought of telling everyone I didn’t want any gifts, but deep down, I knew that wasn’t true. I adore receiving gifts. And I’m grateful that I have people in my life who enjoy surprising me with pretty things!³

My fear turned out to be valid, though. It didn’t take long for my brain to feel overloaded once I started scrolling through gift guides. It was fun to spot something I liked and put it on my wish list, but overall the experience left me feeling restless, and I felt relief upon closing out the browser window (or closing my laptop entirely).

The space in my brain created by not shopping is like a room in a house that’s been cleared of clutter. The other things living in my mind now have more room to breathe and coexist.

I deleted Instagram just over a year ago and have briefly popped back on twice to promote Creative Cohorts. I feel the same way about opening the door to personal shopping as I do about being on social media—it’s fun for a brief time, and then it’s not. In this season of my life, setting boundaries around social media and shopping has helped me create an environment for my thoughts and ideas to thrive.

I don’t think I could ask for a better gift.

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I put together this fun montage of Artist Dates taken during the fall round of Creative Cohorts. It fills my heart with joy to witness women nurturing their creativity and realizing they’re worthy of taking up space.

Want to join us in 2025?

❤️

1. A wall calendar. Ha!

2. A blogger I’ve enjoyed following for over 15 years (!!) and whose recommendations draw me in like a moth to a flame.

3. Like my friend Laura, who surprised me with this stunning journal handpainted by our mutual friend Kristina. (Check out her Etsy shop!)

And my sister, who bought me this gorgeous piece of art for my birthday while we were shopping together at Home Goods.